We have been considering taking the land line out of our home. That’s because the only incoming calls we are getting is from someone reminding us that our extended car warranty has almost expired. Sadly, it will mean giving up the phone number we’ve had since the Eisenhower administration. Maybe I’m just sentimental.
Of course, taking out a landline is something that would have never been discussed 30 years ago. Back then, the very idea that a house phone could be replaced by a device that’s portable, totally wireless, transmits information, video clips and photos, and is owned by everyone north of 9 years old was unthinkable. Nowadays it’s not even uncommon.
My granddaughter can’t imagine a time when a home only had one phone. And when I tell her it was tethered to its main body with a cord, she looks at me like I was speaking ancient Greek. Golly, how did we even survive without a phone you couldn’t carry everywhere? I grew up in the Dark Ages.
Maybe some of you can remember when the phone company came out with the extra-long cord. With that cord, teens could take the phone in another room, close the door, and get away from meddling parents. Unless their parents were well off and had a second phone in the house. Of course, in a few days, the long line would be such a tangled mess that you were forced to stand on a chair and hold one end of the cord, so the receiver would dangle and it could unwind.
Nowadays everyone asks Siri to make their phone calls. But, once upon a time, we had rotary phones. That meant you had to physically dial someone’s phone number. Yes, dial. No push buttons. That actually had some advantages. When I began dating, the rotary phone helped me work up the nerve to ask a girl out. After using the telephone book to get her number, I would struggle to make the call, half way dialing before I hung up. Finally, I would dial the last digit of her phone number…almost. By holding my index finger in the number hole, I stopped the call from going through until I got the last bit of my courage up. Only then would I let go. Of course, sometimes I got the dreaded busy signal, which meant I had to go through the whole process again. It was pure teen angst. I wonder how many girls realize that we went through all that?
Rotary phones also made it possible for radio stations to run call-in contests. Once my fingers worked their magic and I was the 10th caller on local station WSGN 610AM. I think I won six 45 RPM single records. Of course I didn’t have a record player (and certainly not a stereo) to play them on, so I traded them to someone for a few comic books. Ah, the simple pre-teen life that is lost on this generation.
Do you recall making a phone call to get the correct time and temperature? Imagine my surprise when I learned that there is still a number to call for that. Of course, to get that information, I had to use Google on my iPhone.
Curiosity got the better of me, and I began punching in those digits. I just had to have the correct time and temperature. But before I got that important information, I had to listen to a commercial for Life Alert. That gives you an idea of the demographics of the people who are calling this number.
When I told my 10-year-old granddaughter this story, she was quite confused.
“Granddaddy, why did you have to call somebody just to find out what time it was?” she asked.
I answered, “Well, honey. That’s easy. It’s because I probably forgot to wind my wristwa—oh, forget it!”
Joe Hobby is a standup comedian, a syndicated columnist, and a long-time writer for Jay Leno. He’s a member of Cullman Electric Cooperative and is very happy now that he can use Sprout from his little place on Smith Lake. Contact him at [email protected].
